i think i need to get away for a day or a few days. i need to rejuvenate myself. I think being surrounded by everyone is getting to me. Yesterday i started to break down because the house if messy. There are people in and out all day of the house. micky is working non stop on remodeling the house. Mom is puttering around doing this and that all day. Colt and clara have been here everyday since mom and micky pulled in. There is stuff everywhere. Like stuff. not trash, its not dirty. just stuff from mom and micky moving back here from north Carolina.
Whenever they come home i have the house all ready for them to come in and either relax or get started on whatever project they need to do. I don't have it messy or have them worry about cleaning up when they get here. They are usually here only for the weekend. After they leave then i spend some good time on getting everything back to where i had it before they were here. But they will be here for 2-4 weeks. I always feel like i am in the way first of all. They run around and are so busy that most of the times i don't know whats up and whats down. So i usually just sleep, watch tv, or sit there. oh because i feel like i cant really leave because my mom is only here for a short time and i don't want to miss visiting with her i guess.
Also the biggest thing is i feel like i am being judged. seriously. and it may be crazy but its true. even yesterday my mom said to me that micky told her that she does everything in the house. It really upset me and i took it personal because that means to me that i do nothing. which, as stated i don't do much when they are here. BUT i do things all the time. ......i think this is actually alot more in depth than for this silly blog.
I struggle at times being an at home mom. because i dont make any money, i dont have to get up and go to a job. Its a job that no one appreciates or understands unless you di it yourself.Let me share what i do. I first and foremost have to follow Logans life schedule. (ie:morning routine of getting up and going to school, pick up after school, take him to church on wed and soccer on mon, have events and projects for him lined up for learning and life experiences.ect) then i have jasons schedule (in texas not here right now...so i wont get into his, but it fills up alot of my day.) because I have 3 meals a day that i make sure my family has. and i try my best not to rely on processed, frozen, or take out. obvious next is housework. i try and not do the minimum either. i have formed a weekly habit of deep cleaning once a week and trying to install these lifestyles in logan. (on saturdays he mops the bathroom and kitchen and vacuums all rooms.) I craft. let me say this again....I CRAFT. and when i say i craft i mean scrapbooking, decorations, party planning, baking, cooking, and gift making. I do these things because this is who i am, i enjoy doing them, people enjoy receiving them, it keeps me sain, and it is my stress release. Yesterday i made a ribbon christmas wreath. with the most beautiful glittered cupcakes on it ever. i may post a photo later. The day before I made cookies left over from logans halloween candy bars. they were delish and everyone enjoyed them. My next project is a couple of purple tie scarves for gifts. :)
The past few months i have been going through phases on my workouts. i only have been walking since moving to iowa, so i cant say that my workouts are really filling up my daily life. but while im watching the pounds creep back on and filling in for the winter....i may have to go back to my workout life again. Me working out is important to not only myself, but i feel also for my family. To set good health example for logan and to prolong life and health with my husband. I think the last thing that really stands out that I do as a "job" is my army volunteer work. Alot of my family does not understand the position I have in jasons company. I am a KEY person in the whole company. Maybe not to the soldiers, because they have their chain of command to refer to. BUT to the families. To the families of our company i am their chain of command. at least 3-5 days a week i am doing army stuff. and ill just refer it as stuff since there is alot that i do.
so there. my job duties as a house/army wife/mom is as follows: cooking, cleaning, army tasks, taking care of husband and child, and most of all myself.
Over the past few months iowa friends and family have made comments abouthow i live my life and on my life stlyes. these comments have been hurtful and alarming. This is who i am now. This is who i enjoy and strive to be. I do not go into your homes and question your character or lifestyle so:
If you are not and stay at home army wife you dont understand. so shut the hell up.
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